Promise
by Kaitrin
Summary: Set during Try, Lina made a promise to Gourry, a promise she has broken. But does he even remember? L/G Sequel to Midnight Blue, C&C greatly appreciated!


Lina picked at her food, mostly staring off into space. She glanced over at Gourry, saw that he was watching her, and went back to pushing her food around on her plate. He was just watching her, as he often did. It was something that she had grown used to, even come to depend on. And she had missed it more than she cared to admit while they had been separated. She, Zelgadis and Filia had been through that creepy amusement park and then the ghost ship with the jars, while Amelia and Gourry had helped a fishperson and human find true love and then played "Allies of Justice" with some old geezers who called themselves the Peacemen. Lina placed her elbows on the table and rested her head on her hands. _If only _I_ had been in Amelia's place . . ._ Lina's thoughts were interrupted when a fork reached across the table and snatched her chicken drumstick.

"Gourry! That 's _my_ food!" Lina was filled with righteous indignation, and her appetite, which had been nearly absent only moments before, kicked into high gear as she prepared her assault on Gourry's plate.

"You were just staring off into space," Gourry replied calmly around a mouthful of chicken, "so I thought you didn't want it."

Lina froze in the act of bringing food from his plate to her mouth. Her eyes narrowed and she looked at Gourry very hard.

"What?" He had a totally innocent and clueless expression on his face, and when she said nothing, he shrugged and started cutting up his steak.

Lina slowly sat back down, her eyes never leaving Gourry, her mind whirling furiously. That little phrase . . . it was nearly identical to something Gourry had said soon after they first met, the morning after they had first encountered Rezo, the Red Priest. She had told him the legend of Shabranigdo, and while she was thinking, he had taken one of her sausages. She remembered him smiling at her the same way back then. But did he remember? And if he remembered that, did he also remember . . .

Lina stood up, her food unfinished. As she walked towards the front door of the inn they were staying at, she heard Amelia call after her, "Miss Lina, where are you going?"

Lina turned around and saw that everyone was staring at her. Amelia was half-standing, her hands firmly planted on the table in front of her. Zelgadis was looking at her over the rim of a mug. Filia's eyes kept going back and forth between Lina and the food unfinished on her plate. Gourry was watching her too, although he was still eating. Lina forced herself to smile cheerfully. "Where else? I'm gonna go look for dessert!" She walked through the door without waiting for their response.

The truth was, she just wanted some time alone to sort out her thoughts. Because she had made a promise to Gourry, a promise she had broken not just once, but several times. She had promised not to hurt him again, either with her magic or her fists, and although she had managed to avoid casting spells at him, she had started hitting him again once they had reached the Temple of the Fire Dragon King. Unfortunately, it was not an isolated event, but something that kept happening. But the worst part of it had little to do with the fact that she had broken her promise. The worst part was wondering if Gourry remembered the promise. She felt bad enough about breaking her word without having to explain the whole situation to him. But if he did remember, then she _really_ owed him an explanation. Or an apology. Or something.

Lina paused when she caught the aroma of chocolate wafting gently towards her. Although dessert had been a convenient excuse, the scent was rekindling her appetite and she followed it into a tiny shop tucked away in an alley. Moments later, Lina emerged with a small sack of the local "specialty" chocolates. She popped one in her mouth with a blissful sigh of contentment. Haggling with the shop owner had helped her blow off some steam, so she turned her attention back to her problem.

Things had been fine after they parted company with Sylphiel. However, the "right time" had never arrived. After they left Sylphiel, "that time of the month" had come around. Then they had arrived in the port town where she had gotten the letter from Filia. They had been traveling in a big group ever since then, and there was no such thing as privacy. Lina blushed. The "right time" was never going to happen until she and Gourry found some "alone time." As much as Lina loved traveling with Zelgadis and Amelia, she found herself wishing yet again, as she had several times before, that she and Gourry had ended up on the island of the fishpeople. She and Gourry had some unfinished business to take care of, and for the life of her, she had no idea how to make the transition without having to endure Amelia's starry-eyed sighs or her speeches about the power of love. Amelia was like a younger sister to her, but her open talk of love and devotion was really embarrassing. Such things should be private, not shouted to the world from the highest point around.

And really, that was the crux of the problem. After they had arrived at the Temple of the Fire Dragon King, and after they had finished eating, but before they had been given the task of rebuilding the "damaged" portion of the Temple, Amelia had asked Lina if she had confessed her love to Gourry. Lina had blushed. She wanted to stammer like a silly nervous girl. Instead, she had forced herself to sound bored as she asked Amelia what made her ask that kind of question. Amelia's response was that she noticed that things were different between the two of them and that they seemed closer somehow. The clincher, as far as Amelia was concerned, was that Lina had managed to avoid hitting Gourry whenever he said stupid things. Lina sighed at the memory. It was only minutes later that she had hit Gourry for the first time since her promise. Mainly because she was embarrassed . . . but also because things had changed, yet not enough.

Lina continued to walk over the cobblestone streets of the tiny sea-side village. It was strange to be so near to the ocean all the time. Even though it was often out of sight, its effects were everywhere, in the slightly briny scent of the air, in the constant breezes that were always trying to push her hair into her eyes or mouth. Lina could hear the gentle thrumming of the surf and wondered if she had taken a wrong turn towards the harbor. She dismissed the idea almost at once. Although aside from the surf, it was very quiet (in a small village like this, the harbors were only active when the fishing boats left early in the morning and came in at dusk), because the characteristic aroma of dead fish and other garbage that typically found its way into a harbor was conspicuously absent. When she rounded a corner, her first thought was that Amelia would have loved this place. It was a semi-circular area, constructed out of the same rocks that paved the streets. There were benches to sit on, separated by small plots of bright flowers. The whole area was fenced in with a rock wall that was chest-high to her, but would be more like waist-high to a normal person. Beyond the rock wall, the ocean stretched as far as the eye could see, but the vista had been designed so that the harbor was completely concealed. The combined effect of the tiny park and the vast view was incredible. The entire place exuded peace and tranquility, in stark contrast to the chaos of her thoughts.

Lina walked up to the rock-wall and leaned on it, letting the peacefulness of the park quiet her thoughts. As she looked out over the ocean, watching the waves forming out in the distance before making their journey to shore, Lina thought she could understand Amelia's joy of high places. She practically wanted to sing, herself. Practically, but not quite! Only one thing was missing . . .

Lina pulled another chocolate out of the sack she had tucked into her cloak, wondering when it was that Gourry had become such an important part of her life. It seemed to be something she only fully recognized when he was gone. When she had been wandering through that nightmarish amusement park place, getting scared silly by a bunch of penguin puppets, she had wanted to find Gourry more than anything. The others too, but mostly she wanted to find Gourry. Upon seeing that blond shock of hair, her heart had soared. It had not been Gourry, and the realization was like ash. Finding Zel had been a relief, but it had done little to soothe that tight knot of anxiety within her heart. Although it made her feel marginally better, even after casting the Dragon Slave on the whole fake set, she still felt like she was missing something. And when she had realized that someone had changed her clothes while she was unconscious, that someone else had seen her body, before Gourry had the chance, it touched off a deep sense of panic that the "right time" would never come, that it was already too late.

Now they were all together again, but that was still part of the problem. Or maybe it was just her. She was the problem. She had made the promise, she had broken it, now she needed to set things to right. The others being around was just an excuse, the same excuse she had used to justify decking Gourry after they came back from the Sea of Chaos. Dark Lords? Bring them on. Fights to the death against overwhelming odds? She refused to let fear slow her down. But the prospect of others, even her closest friends, knowing her private feelings? Now that was something that daunted the powerful sorcery-genius Lina Inverse. She wondered what Luna would say. No, she knew what Luna would say. Luna would say that the time to be concerned that her feelings would make her weak had past. Her feelings had already been exploited to weaken her, but instead of giving in to that weakness, she had become stronger. Luna would say that the time to defend against her feelings was past. Lina could almost hear her older sister's voice lecturing her. Not that it made it any easier, though.

Time had little meaning as Lina stood and stared out at the ocean. She felt no closer to a solution, but at least she had regained some measure of balance, and although she did not usually feel it necessary to spend quiet time on her own, she could see its attraction. She wondered if that was how Zelgadis felt sometimes when he went off on his own. When she finally realized that she no longer had the park to herself, Gourry was right behind her. He placed his hand on her shoulder, and stood quietly. Lina leaned back against him, and felt his hand move to caress the side of her neck.

"The others were worried, you know." Gourry spoke in a low tone that matched the setting. His fingers continued their gentle motion. When Lina said nothing, he continued. "I don't think any of them have ever seen you willingly abandon a plate still filled with food."

"Yeah, I guess that's not much like me." Lina relaxed into Gourry's touch. It had been a while since they had been close like this, since before they were separated by the events at the Gateway.

"I think it was the thing about dessert that really had them going." Gourry chuckled and Lina could feel the vibrations in his chest. "Amelia was convinced that you must be sick. She gave me a long speech about the justice of helping friends when I wouldn't let her follow you."

"Why'd you do that?" Lina craned her head so she could see his face.

Gourry shrugged. "Seems you needed some time. Dessert was just an excuse, right?"

"Well . . ." Lina was a bit shocked that he could read her so well, but then she realized that they did seem to have a way to communicate without words . . . at least Gourry could usually tell what she was thinking, like when they had fought Mazenda, or when she had goaded Jillas to throw a grenade at them. Funny that she had a harder time reading Gourry. "Maybe, but I did find some, see?" Lina pulled the sack of chocolates out of her cloak. "Want one?"

Gourry took the proffered sack and popped one of the chocolates into his mouth. "What's it gonna cost me?"

Lina shrugged. "Oh, I don't know . . . I'll think of something . . . eventually . . ." She turned back to the ocean vista.

"Now I've seen everything! Lina Inverse actually sharing food? Maybe there really is something wrong with you." Gourry placed his hand on Lina's forehead, and then on his own. "No, feels the same as mine, so you can't be fevered."

Lina felt torn between annoyance and amusement. "I share my food with you. I always share my fish, don't I?"

"But you make me eat the guts!" Gourry gagged for emphasis.

"The guts just happen to be the best part!" Lina stiffened and turned, placing her hands on her hips.

"Well, let's just say that they're the part I like the least!" Gourry leaned with his back against the rock wall, his elbows resting on the ledge.

Lina shrugged. It was an old argument, one that had come up countless times, and would probably come up again in the future. She went back to enjoying the view, and they stood next to each other, Lina facing the ocean, Gourry with his back to it, in companionable silence.

Gourry broke it first. "Let's get married," he suggested casually.

Lina nearly choked, wondering if she had heard him correctly. "What did you say?"

An ocean breeze rifled through Gourry's hair and obscured his face as he turned and looked at her. "I said we should get married."

Lina considered briefly. "It doesn't really make sense right now," she announced briskly. "You don't even have a house."

"A house?" Gourry paused for a moment in confusion before forging on. "We don't need a house, we can do it right here. Filia is a priestess, I'm sure she could do the ceremony for us, and Amelia and Zel could stand up for us."

"Gourry . . ." Lina tried to interrupt.

"Lina," Gourry turned and took her hands in his, "you'll be a beautiful bride." His tone was low and intent, almost a verbal caress, and his eyes held her even more firmly than his hands.

"Gourry," Lina tried again, determined to get through to him. "We can't get married like that."

Gourry's brow furrowed. "Why not? That's how you and that Halsal guy did it . . ."

"Who . . . oh, you mean Hallas?"

"Yeah, him. The one who paid you to marry him, but we never got the money."

"Gourry," Lina sighed, "that type of wedding is for the nobility. Not for a merchant's daughter like me and a mercenary like you."

"Okay." Gourry was not discouraged. "How do people like us get married?"

Lina went into lecture mode, leaning against the rock wall and gesturing for emphasis. "Well, first our families get together and decide if the marriage is an advantageous alliance. Then they bargain for the terms of the marriage, and allocate the property. Once the contract has been agreed upon, then our families throw a huge party for the entire village, with lots of food and dancing, wine and music. At the end of the party, my family brings me to your house and say a little speech about me passing into your house."

"All that? But what about the promises?"

"What promises? Everything should be in the contract," Lina started to explain, but Gourry interrupted.

"No, not that, the promises. You know, to love and honor in sickness and in health, all that. The promises."

Lina's brow furrowed for a moment, then she laughed. "Marriage isn't about love, it's a business arrangement!"

"Then what's the big deal with the kiss, then? And how come you didn't finish the wedding with Hassal if it's just a business arrangement?" Gourry crossed his arms over his chest.

"_Hallas_," Lina corrected automatically. "And the wedding was kinda interrupted when Zangulus and Vrumugun showed up, remember?"

"Oh, come on, Lina." Gourry looked highly skeptical. "Even though he was gonna give you all that money, you wouldn't let him kiss you."

Lina opened her mouth. Then closed it. When she left her hometown in Zephilia to begin her travels, she had harbored romantic dreams about finding a prince who fell in love with her and married her in the way Gourry had described. It was a common dream among young girls her age, a "happily ever after" alternative to the dreary reality that the people who got married seldom had any say in the matter. It was all decided by the parents. The rich could afford to have the romantic illusions, and the poor made do with the most casual arrangements. They just moved in with each other, usually right before the girl had her first baby. "Well," she said slowly, chewing on a fingernail, "I guess the business arrangement wasn't good enough."

Gourry's expression plainly indicated his disbelief. "All right, what's the _real_ reason you don't want to get married?"

Lina narrowed her eyes. "To you, or to Hallas?"

"Both. Either."

"Okay," Lina took a deep breath and tried to organize her thoughts. "I guess I was okay with marrying Hallas as long as it was a fake marriage . . . at least the gold was enough when it was supposed to be a fake marriage. But then he wanted it to be real. And the gold wasn't good enough for me to give up my travels for real." Lina paused again. "And, I didn't love him. I think that then I still wanted a prince to fall in love with me and sweep me away, and Hallas was rich, but he was just the head of the lead family of a small village." She glanced over at Gourry, and was half surprised that he actually seemed to be paying attention for a change. "Does that answer your question?"

"Some." Gourry reached over and brushed a strand of hair off her face. "Now tell me why you don't want to marry me."

"I never said I didn't want to marry you, Gourry," Lina let some of her exasperation seep into her tone.

"Yes you did, you said . . ."

"I _said_," Lina interrupted, "that it doesn't make sense right now, not that I didn't want to."

The flare of exultation in Gourry's eyes was immediate, and he took both of her hands in his. "_Your_ way doesn't make sense. So let's do it _my_ way, right here. I don't want to go into business with you, Lina, or set up a house. I just want us to be together. That's all our marriage will be. Just a promise to be together."

"A promise . . ." Lina trailed off, with a sick feeling settling in the pit of her stomach. Her track record of promises to Gourry was pretty abysmal. If she had trouble keeping a simple promise not to hurt him anymore, could she keep a promise to stay with him? At this moment, she could conceive of nothing that would make her want to be without Gourry. Just the thought seemed to open up a dark hole in her heart. But, when they stood on a broken pillar in the ruins of Old Sairaag, Lina thought nothing would ever make her hurt Gourry again. She squeezed her eyes shut, remembering how worried she was that Gourry would never wake up, all because of her temper . . . and how quickly she had stopped thinking about that, falling back into old habits . . .

Gourry gently wiped his thumb across her cheek, smoothing away the tear that fell. "All right, Lina. What's all this about?" His tone was abrupt, maybe even harsh, in stark contrast to his touch.

Lina's eyes flew open, only to find Gourry's blue eyes boring into hers. She flinched back, and then answered with some heat, clenching her hands into fists, "Are you sure you want me to make another promise to you? Maybe you don't remember, but I couldn't even keep the last one I made to you!"

To her utter surprise, Gourry started to laugh. "Is that what's been bothering you all this time?"

Lina glared at him. She failed to see the humor in the situation. "What are you laughing about?" she demanded.

Gourry continued to chuckle. "You," he said, tapping her on the nose. "For all your 'devil-may-care' attitude, you take yourself too seriously. You need to loosen up a bit."

"I suppose you think I should have a sieve for a brain like you," Lina said acidly, as she swatted his hand away.

"No," Gourry replied patiently, as if he were explaining something to a small child. "You haven't broken your promise to me."

"Yes I have!" Lina's voice rose with frustration. "I promised not to hurt you again, but I've been pummeling you all over the place, ever since we arrived at the Temple of the Fire Dragon King!"

"That's right, Lina," Gourry interrupted forcefully, "you promised not to hurt me, and you haven't!"

Lina stood with her mouth agape.

"Sure, you've been letting loose with your fists, but haven't you even noticed that you've been pulling all your punches?" Gourry stared at her in amazement, shaking his head. "And here I thought this was your not-so-subtle way of reminding me that we had decided to show our affection in other ways!"

Had she been pulling her punches? Her exact promise had been not to hurt him, not to stop _hitting_ him. It took quite an adjustment to her thinking, because she had interpreted her promise differently, apparently, than Gourry had. But it was rather comical to think that she, in her diminutive, perfectly proportioned extra-petite body, could possibly use physical force to hurt someone with the mass of Gourry. Lina decided suddenly that if Gourry said that she had kept her promise, there really was no use in beating herself up over it. There had only been one other time when she had been upset about hurting someone, when she had killed the puppet-child of Phibrizo. That time, Sylphiel had held her and absolved her of guilt, helping her to get back to the task at hand. This time, Gourry was absolving her of guilt, and it was time to move on.

Lina tossed her hair over her shoulders, and smiled at Gourry. "Okay, let's do it. Let's get married your way."

Gourry's answering smile was a brilliance beyond the dawn, an expression she had seen only once before, when she had returned to him in the Lord of Nightmare's Sea of Chaos.


End file.
